A Return?

I'll be honest, I haven't posted hoping to feel better by talking to a therapist.  I only have 8 meetings, and I am almost out.  I am thinking that I will end up falling in the old pattern.  I don't want to.  I hate having basically a secret life.  At the same time I wonder if I am just being a dramatic little bitch.   I have no reason why to feel so sad.  I don't know what I am going to do now.  A new semester is starting and I am trying to convince myself it will be different.  I really hope it is.  I don't know how often I will update this, but who knows.